So I must be crazy... Feb 19, 2021 17:25:58 GMT -8
Post by amberfields on Feb 19, 2021 17:25:58 GMT -8
In the spring of 1998 (the year predicted of a rising in the Christ impulse by Cayce and Steiner), I had a mind-altering experience that just made life unbelievable. One day I walked up the stairs to go into my apartment with a vow to myself to change my moral ways and be true to my authentic self. I did something against my own nature, something that many do and is socially acceptable, but something that is not a part of who I am. So anyways, as I opened the door I was stopped in my tracks. I was enveloped with an emotion that I could not deny. I felt oppressed in my entire mind, body and spirit, I immediately wept.
As I walked over to the bedroom I folded my arms and brought my hands to my face and then sat down on the bed knowing that something was really wrong. I sensed that an end or completion of what seemed to be existence was going on.
I walked over to by bed saying out loud, “Oh God, at least save the Children.”
I opened my eyes and seen not my surroundings, but a ball of white light that was covered in darkness. Not completely though, I’d say that at least 15 to 20 percent was still shining through with patches and individual sparks of whiteness. There was nothingness surrounding the ball of light, no color, nothing at all.
I lifted my head up and once again seen my surroundings. I knew right then and there that the scales of balance were way off.
Then I still continued to weep for the world. I turned around and turn on the TV, still weeping. The only channel I got was showing an old retired coach who was now volunteering his services to the children’s league of baseball. He said he was waiting for a sign from God in order to take the position. Don’t remember anything else until the following weekend when the kids showed up for their visit.
The visit came and my children were running up and down this really long wrap around couch I had. They were having fun while I stood watching feeling numb.
My daughter looked over my way and miraculous words came out of her mouth, “Don’t worry Mom, you saved all the children.”
I gasped with shock as she and her brother continued playing.
“How did she know this, how did she know I asked God to save the children?” I wondered and fell into awe thinking, “What does this mean?”
As I stood there watching my children laugh and play on the couch, I slowly came out of the numbness that had been haunting me. From there I don’t remember the rest of the day.
What I do remember is later having a power flow through me as the numbness continued to lift. I recognized the presence of it and I recognized abilities with it. Like when I would call for wind, wind would come. Or when I would call for rain, it rained instantly. Crazy, I know, but believe you me, I tested it over and over and it never failed. I felt connected to all around me. I woke up to a synchronized reality. I thought it, it happened and it was good. I felt love and power, but then in my curiosity of it all, I started to wonder if I was Jesus seeing as how I received conformation on my request to save the innocence of the world. I mean he is our culture’s hero of doing this and all others who claim to have this type of experience are said to be the antichrist. So this thought drove me into a great confusion. Only crazy people think they are Jesus or the evil ones who pretend to be him in hopes to lead others into their trap. I know I am not evil for I do not have that intention, this was a genuine experience, and so I must be crazy.
I noticed a sudden switch in me. I no longer felt the beauty of this power that flowed all around me and in me; my thoughts led to feelings of doubt that appeared by a feeling of a great burning in the pit of my stomach every time I went around another person. I had no idea who I was and gave no thought to any future moment. I was lost and confused in my very own long agonizing moment that spanned for years. I lost my mind the moment my daughter spoke those eight words to me.
Much later I learned about this burning in my stomach. Some call it a physic hook. Hindus refer to it as Dan-tain. A dan-tain is where your energy is stored for later use. A physic hook links you into another’s consciousness through sympathy, a matter of the heart charka. If you continue to miss use it, the energy will dwindle down to your base of the spine charka, which is your grounding point. My grounding point was affected. I imprinted my environment with my inner darkness of doubt. The way to reverse the energy is to give love to those whose despairing energy you are picking up and adding to your own. Darkness will be neutralized.
But as I said earlier, I had no idea what was going on. All I was doing was walking around town crying my butt off and thinking how crazy I truly am for even just a second thinking I was Jesus. Life went on….