I used to be so extroverted in my early days. When I had woken I started feeling everyone around me, their emotions on a scale of 8 out of 10 from 5 out of 10 in my youth. I worked my way to a position that enabled me to work from home semi-retired and semi-reclusive state.
I tend to look into myself and as it enables me to centre myself this way and I sit on our front deck overlooking our beautiful vista where I can ground myself as well when I walk around bare footed.
We all have our own unique ways to deal with our awakenings.
"The two most important days of your life. The day you were born and the day you find out why."
"The devil whispered, "you can't withstand the storm." The warrior replied, "I am the storm".
Hi and welcome jo. I felt suicidal when I was your age. But I wouldn't off myself because of my kids. Now the kids are gone, the grandkids are gone and I'm still ticking. No, life has not gotten easier. But I'm on the final stretch and intend to see it through.
In regards to friends and family, I'm not in contact with family and have a few social friends, nothing to write home about. Because I am handicapped, I seldom leave my house anymore. You will notice I post here a lot. That's why (I post as much as I do). Yes, I miss being active, no I don't miss family or being around people. Being away from society so many years I have learned to be my own best friend.
This all rings true, thankyou both. It sounds very comforting to hear that. I don't know if it's meditation but I am learning the guitar and playing this alone helps me alot. I am practicing guided meditation too but it's tough to be as dedicated as I probably could be. I follow a recommended meditation guide online a few days a week. I love to walk in remote places too. I'm no good at art! ☺️
Did your time alone when you dropped people from your life not feel terrifying? It's frightening for me at the moment. I kind of understand why but it's hard to fight the level of fear.
Hi and welcome! Nice to meet someone close to my age (I just turned 39). I'll give my 2 cents on a few things I noticed in your few posts with the hope of assuaging some concerns.
I personally don't like guided meditations. The constant instruction takes me out of the flow and makes it more about "doing" something when meditation is more about not doing anything. Don't feel like you have to do something just because so-and-so said it's "the best" thing to do. Do what feels best for you without apology or shame. This blends into my next point:
There's no standards to be met or benchmarks to meet. You do you, at whatever pace you want to, and that's it. If it's easier to do guided meditation at this point then do it, otherwise don't. That could change down the road. Do what you can and celebrate yourself for it no matter how small a feat it might feel like. A year from now, those tiny little feats pile up to a mountain of change for the better. Set your sights on being .5% better than yesterday and you're doing fantastic, also remembering to forgive yourself if you manage to falter one day cause this stuff isn't the easiest thing ever.
Life on Earth is meant to be difficult in some way in accordance with what you're here to learn. In the grander scheme of things, think of Earth as an elite college that very few can even get into, and those that do are pretty advanced already. You're strong, you're smart, you're advanced... you just don't remember it. It's a process to go about remembering. Refer to the above. Every day you'll step a tiny bit further into your gifts until before you know it, you'll be a completely different person than the one you thought you knew.
Even focusing on the above doesn't mean things won't be hard. You said you're a mother, so when you need to, lean on that and remember your child is depending on you. A big lie of this world is that it's our job to raise our kids. That's only half right; it's also their job to raise us. They remind us to be kids ourselves and not take life so seriously while simultaneously forcing us to get our shit together if we really need to because for many of us, we value the life and the well being of our children over our own. There's a lot of changes I'm in the process of making and you could bet your bottom dollar that I'd make those changes as fast as I possibly could if my child's life depended on it.
Being alone seems to go with the territory of waking up to the truth. You're not alone there, it's just that your egoic life is starting to transform into your higher life. That means everything in your physical world can change: closeness to family, friends, job, residence (type and location), appearance, clothing, lifestyle, everything. Expect everything to change at it's own pace and you'll be better equipped to handle those changes as they come. If you're meant to meet new people in your life then you definitely will in due time.
Last Edit: Apr 26, 2021 11:29:42 GMT -8 by andromedan
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