Why I now do not believe in aliens. My story of trauma.

In me teens I was sent to a series of cult boarding schools. One of them named Cedu which operated in a system of schools. They used severe verbal abuse, brainwashing tactics, isolation and other methods on children. I ran away from the school that was in running springs California which was close to Big Bear in the San Bernadino Mountains. I was told I was the only woman in history in those mountains I believe to cover 38? miles of uncharted wilderness on foot. Due to running away with another woman who collapsed on our journey to get away I had to turn myself in after making the journey so she could be saved by search and rescue via helicopter. These schools were shut down for there cult practices. I was one of the activists in my late teens and early 20s.



I also was sent to Provo Canyon School in Orem Utah. I was given a number the two times I was there and not a name. They also used harsh abuse tactics and there is a campaign going on to shut down other programs including the one I attended Breaking Code Silence.



I lived on the road for many years and always desired to be free partially from the abuse I suffered but also because I had a free spirit. I lived on the taos mesa as well. I also traveled every state but Alaska and backpacked and thumbed most of the entire west. I went cross country on foot and by thumb several times as well.



I had a near death experience and was given a medicine name and I was close to death in my life weighing only 90 pounds. I moved to Crestone Colorado to try and heal.



There I met a head military scientist who became a friend of mine I thought for years and we would meet in my travels off and on after I became healed from natural healing modalities. He began talking about alien soul warfare often.



His talks with me would be mostly about aliens. He would talk for hours sometimes about them. Eventually I left his path to go to another place backpacking and met a man that I did connect to the scientist and they may unrelated. He tried to convince me he communicated with gray aliens. He also drove me to Venice Beach where I was raped. I was taken to a rape facility and they were very rude to me and even through a rape kit on my lap and said "heres your rape kit" and shot me with some strange injection against my will and released me back to the streets.



I then had strange men coming into my life after that telling me different things like "I am either time or your pall bearer" and also offering possible yurt and cannabis farms and I declined to go with the couple that offered. As well as another man telling me he was an alien scientist.



I then started unraveling more and more from the rape and the things I was being told by others. I was put in a hospital I was told for talking about aliens even though I did not know if they existed. I worried something strange was going on to gaslight and manipulate my mind. So I left on foot and thumb to Mexico.



I walked across the border in bisbee arizona after thumbing down through tombstone and camping. I caught buses all the way to tapachula. I remember staring at the windows in awe of some of the rugged beauty and also aware I could be harmed at any time. I was a woman alone with a backpack that left the country due to fear of gaslighting me possibly into insanity. I had a layover in Mexico City and tried to make it to Fridas house just to stand in the yard that is now a museum to feel like I had a sister. I then took buses all the way down to tapachula due to finding it on a map and being very far south if I decided to go into another country and also close to the ocean possibly. I rerouted after seeing tapachula to San Cristobal.



In San Cristobal I stayed in youth hostels and also then later rented a casita.

I enjoyed the scene there and thought I might stay in Mexico forever. However I ran into some trouble and was chased by a man with a dagger on a holiday of some sorts or parade wearing a clown pig face mask. I started unraveling from my already stress state and asked for help online to come back to this country.



I was put to sleep in a hospital upon returning and when I woke up I felt incredibly violated like something terrible had happened. When I asked for an attorney they came in and shot me with drugs so my head was drooping and I was nearly drooling by the time the attorney arrived.



I was released from the hospital and the head military scientist within a very short time proposed to me over the phone. I also had the same man I met afer my rape contacting me to come visit him in New York. Could have been a coincidence. I went on the road instead with my new fiance and it was a terrible trip from my trauma that I already had and he continued to talk about aliens.



There is much to the story than I feel like typing because it is tiring to me. I later went into convulsions and it felt like I was being electrocuted and hit with a weapon. I it also felt like I was being microwaved at times.



I was purchasing a tipi and a growdome and building a reading treehouse or going to go purchase an earthship as well as do things for people that I loved with the money that I had before the instance happened where it felt like I was hit with a weapon. Immediately I thought it was some kind of military weapon and I had possibly been lied about the aliens. I was in Ashland Oregon when I went into to convulsions and feelings of electric shock.



My body was bent and crooked and limbs turned inwards shaking all over. I went to Mt Shasta and other places to protest what I thought was a weapon and told my story all over the country bent and shaking and started giving away money with my story because it was useless it seemed at that point that to donate it to people that would listen.



I also went through what I feel like was incredible dark magic and terrible battles in the spirit due having a broken and compromised energy body. I also read how emf waves cause anger in people.



I later left on what I called a live free or die trip on foot from NC to NM just to see the desert again which was my home to me. I missed everything about the desert and thought I may make it there at least to die if I'm continuously being harmed by some strange microwave. (I later found articled on voice to skull, microwave survivors, as well as the project monarch and mk ultra survivors and wondered if I was one of them). That aliens were actually a lie and I do not believe in them now. The amount of pain and even black magic I feel I experienced was disgusting.



I made it all the way to New Mexico on foot and by thumn that trip. I cried walking into to New Mexico tears of joy. I cried walking through the streets of taos that I made it. I started getting a vibrational sound frequency in that area to my skull. Also told by the scientist the taos hum even to his belief was a military experiment. I protested the weapon from business to business because it felt like I was being microwaved. I no longer believed in aliens. Nor do believe in them now.



With a broken and compromised energy body my theory is you are also very susceptible to psychic and other attacks. I went through some very strange experiences to say the least.



I was taken into a hospital after I made it by thumb, backpacking and foot close to cortez colorado. My route was planned to head to Sedona possibly to look for healers and go down through area close to Mexican Hat.



I was forced drugged so horribly in the hospital I could barely hold my head up or even sit up comfortably. I was held there for a month. Took myself to Moab and then signed up to go to a treatment center. Which I protested to get out of with the money I was paying for it because it was not helping me and was false advertising for the money.



I then moved to Sedona briefly and then changed locations due to isolation of covid and not knowing how to tell my story or connect or for anyone ever to help me.



I later found out the cult boarding schools I went to in some articled mentioned project monarch as well as mk ultra. I wondered if I had become a mind control experiment.



I do not know what to do now but keep going for now.



I found out they even sometimes give people brain tumors on purpose with these weapons. I found out I have a brain tumor as well due to a recent MRI.

The previous hospitals all ignored my stories of the convulsions and held me and forced drugged me and never would even do an MRI. I finally got one and found out I have a brain tumor. I am going to try and heal the tumor naturally yet it seems futile if it is some kind of weapon and gaslighting they were using.



This is just a tiny piece of my story... But I needed to share it with others.


I am stable now but tired and those are all stories from the past.    What would you do?


Thanks for reading.