Hello,
My Name Is Oran I Will celebrate my 23rd birthday tonight and I have a major Issue
I'm from Israel a nice Jewish boy
my spiritual progress has started when i went powerance parties and took some blotters to feel the connection with myself
I had some major transforms with myself and the world around me
but right now i feel that everything is crumbling down
when I was younger I had some experiences with guys (Sexual yes..)
and when I started taking LSD And Smoking Weed I felt That This sexual thing is just a problem I created to defend myself from my abusive father
and when I was high or tripping i felt straight same as everyone else
and right now a few years later I started hang out with guys again
and all I feel from my synchronicity is that I'm going to get killed and someone is operating my imagination for the worst
that I have an enemy I know nothing about and he wants to kill me
I started hearing a woman's voice in my head that always said the name of a girl I had a crash on a few years earlier
and when I flew through this sync I felt absolutely fine and the threats stopped
I also started experiencing demonic fears which I couldn't control
Like the universe way of telling me I wasn't on the right path
Also a tingling sensation on my fingerprints
this is the worst condition i have come to and because of that I don't know what to do
Is homosexuality a disease in the eyes of god and the higher self
and am i to blame because of my attraction to the other spectrum
please help me understand
I woke up today and felt like I'm going to die
don't know what to do and very scared
Any assistance Would be appreciated.
thank you